Austin- First 4 weeks of Life

Some say I resemble a little old man :)

I was so quiet when I arrived! I was just tricking my mom for a minute~

Those beautiful blue eyes finally opened today!

Now that's a proud grandpa Curtis

I get a lot of gas, and it makes me smile.

Our (Rachel's) beautiful angel, baby Molly!

Oh, the first month has gone by so fast little Austin! You surprised us right away with some awesome sleeping from 12-6ish every night! And your fussing at night is not too intense (especially compared to your older brother at that age), and very short-lived. After spending the first two weeks with grandma F, grandma H, and then grandpa H, we took a week to enjoy you all to ourselves before heading up to Utah County to meet baby Molly. You were great while we were there, and met the Phillips, great-grandma Joann, grandpa F, Jesse's family, and Nichole's family for the first time. I also got to show you off to sweet Tanya from the KL while we met together for too short of time. She brought baby Tiger and we enjoyed our yearly chat. You have spent your first month completely melting our hearts Aussie! Even Max is adoring you. The joy and gratitude that you've brought to my heart is unspeakable. The spirit in our home has been so strong since your arrival. You are so well taken care of by your daddy and big brother. They both get an absolute kick out of you and your gas smiles! You love being out in the smoldering evening heat by the pool. You are the noisiest little guy i've ever heard- grunting and pushing and hiccuping all through the day and night! You burp loud, and you poop loud. The nurses at the hospital called you the "singing baby" because you sighed with every breathe for your first 48 hours!

I have spent the first 4 weeks adapting to the new sleep schedule and gaining confidence in my abilities as the mommy of a fresh little baby- it seems as though I have forgotten everything! I thank the Lord every day for you and your healthy arrival into our lives. And almost every day, I get to proudly show you off to company or passer-bys at the store. I love dressing you, giving you baths, cleaning up your spit-up, and bouncing you around the house. Thank you Aussie for blessing my life! 

All about our little Austin

Boy oh boy, do I have a long list of entries to catch up on! I have a lot of typing and picture pasting to do before I can send my blog to print for my family albums. But lets start with the most exciting news, and then i'll spend the rest of the summer days working backwards! The best news ever is that the big basketball pictured here is now in our arms and sooo much more fun out of the belly!

Austin Douglas Harker greeted us at 8:02 p.m. on Thursday, July 1st. Yes folks, our baby was born on Canada Day! I had been welcoming contractions, good ones, for weeks. I was walking many steep hills, jumping a bit on the tramp, and bouncing on the boat and surfboard that 38th week to see if I could get the ball rolling faster. My body was playing tricks on me every day. I had been a 4 and fully effaced since week 37. By early Wednesday morning, I was sure that the contractions were now real labor. But the hospital sent us home  because I wasn't progressing. I contracted and labored throughout that entire day. I went back in the next morning and was now a 5, but still stuck in prodomal labor (snail-paced labor). I went in again that afternoon and was miraculously going into active labor. So my doc, being that he was leaving town, broke my water. Four hours later, little Austin soared right out. Good thing daddy had gone to McDonalds for lunch or he would have missed the whole thing- it happened so quickly at the end! The labor was quite painless :-) Little boy was not making any noise when he arrived, so the nurses had to briefly get him going. Then he was back in my arms, melting my heart and nursing for the next 4 hours- no joke! He is continuing in that pattern of wanting to nurse all the time.


Oh boy. The most precious, beautiful moments in my life have been the first time I held and kissed my two little boys. Austin's birth was everything i've been looking forward to for several years. I feel so amazed and grateful that we finally got our little baby after so much waiting and dreaming and hoping! He weighed 6 lbs. 6 oz, 19 1/2 in tall, and is perfectly healthy.

             ............Our lives have been completely changed forever now that we have our new little angel to add to the family. We are all so in awe over him and really dig the idea of having a new member of the family. We no longer get bored in the evenings. Instead, the boys really have to pitch in to keep Austin happy and me sane! I had totally, completely forgotten how much work a new babe is! But being busy has been a great change. Logan is a beamingly proud big brother. He may have had his grass mowed a bit at the beginning, but both grandma Tammy and Val made absolute sure to let him know how special he still is. Logan was completely indulged by his grandmas- no, spoiled is the operative word there. He had to face a harsh reality the day that each of them left!

 Grandma Tammy came the night Austin was born, and left 1 week later so that she could go home to dad for a few days before heading to Rachel's for Molly's birth! Baby Molly ended up coming 2 weeks after Austin. What a beautiful girl she is! Having my mom come to stay for a week is almost reason enough to have a baby for my sisters and I. She gets into worker bee mode, and nothing stops her from running around at full speed. We ate soo well, and she took care of everything and everyone.  Here's a pic of Logan not letting grandma lay out!

After she left, Logan ran upstairs and packed a suitcase because he was moving to Rexburg. Grandma Val flew down to stay a few days after mom left! We were soooo glad to have her. Logan decided very quickly that he didn't need to move after all.  He went with grandma Val on several great expeditions around town. And as always, grandma spent a lot of time with Logan playing games and reading stories. We love our parents so very much. Grandpa Orin also flew down the next week for 2 days to spend time with us and meet Austin.

For the flower enthusiasts out there

I know that I am only speaking to a very, very small amount of friends when I discuss new planting ideas. I'm a bit of a geek when it comes to flora and fauna. But I wanted to share a few things that pertain to all mountain west zoners.

• First, i've decided that a zonal geranium gives you much more color and blooms than that of a martha stewart. So why would you bother planting an ms geranium? You get the variegated leaves that don't yellow, and you get color two-tone color options that zonals can't offer. And, they don't get as leggy if you winter them over. These pots above are zonal. Good color, kind of boring by themselves.

• Next, succulents are SOOO easy to grow! Succulents include all sedums, which make fantastic ground covers. A succulent will have a  fleshy, waxy leaf that stores water like a cactus. In these two pots, i've mixed some standard sedums like stonecrop and dragon's blood with a few ornamental succulents like moon rocks and hens/chicks. They only need watered once in a blue moon, and you can enjoy them inside all winter once it freezes outside, so plant them in a cute pot! If planting in the ground, don't link them to a water source or they will rot. Also, any sedum will winter over well in the ground, just not outside in a container. The soil will get too cold. Put them in a place around your house where you can't grow anything else. They can do full shade through full sun. The only thing that will change with exposure is their color. 

• One new plant i've discovered this spring is the colored calalillies that have the white spots on the leaves. They thrive outside as an annual/perrenial and bloom well into the summer. I put this one with lobelia, which croaks fast down here unless it spends a lot of time in the shade. 

• Firesticks euphorbia is a fun succulent to grow. It keeps its orange as long as the nights are cool. 

• This pot of million bells will be hardy all summer long. I have an absolute favorite superbell called 'tangerine punch'. It's not as yellow as the terra cotta in this picture. I love it! But I couldn't find it anywhere.

• Next up on my to-do list is to plant (in-ground) a combo of elephant ears. These two varieties are called 'black magic' and 'lime zinger'. Love 'em because you can grow them anywhere, even in Idaho! You just burlap the bulbs in winter. 

•  Speaking of wrapping bulbs, thats exactly what you can do in order to get your canna lillies back every year. My favorite (below) is the tropicanna. Cannas are different than calla lillies. They grow thick and their bulbs split every year. Love, love, love them.
  

• Lastly, I have never dared to do a planter in a completely shaded area. Well, at this house, almost the whole courtyard is completely shaded. And there was already a planter hanging on the stucco. So, it got filled. Here's what I tried: I layered vinca vine, bacopa, and purple heart on the bottom. On top of that, I planted all of the begonias and new zealand impatients sideways, so that they would show forward and grow out instead of up. Lastly, I threw some violas and coleus plants on top. The second that I can find a black-leafed coleus, it will go in the back for height. So when planting in shade, no fear in using begonias, coleus, and vines- EVEN if the tag says part sun. Any tender trailing flower like BACOPA, VERBENA, SUPERBENA, ALLYSUM,  or LOBELIA, would do just fine in all shade. Yes, I am calling the 'Proven Winners' brand people LIARS:-) Happy planting!!!!

Now that i've got my bearings....

.... I feel like writing a bit to get up to date on a few factoids and tidbits of our life. But first, let me establish that life is good, despite my venting about the many changes we are going through. We are all healthy. Summer is beautiful here. The snowcones taste great. My flowers are all growing fabulously;) Logan is busy with soccer and t-ball, we are getting ready for baby, and Brad's job is keeping him very busy. So I have a lot to be very grateful for right now. I hope that I can be. Every day. Now, for the hard truth about my inability to adapt quickly....
If there is one thing in life that gets me all roweled up and in a fix, it would be change! CHANGE. Thank heavens that it occurs now and then, but the process is never easy for me. Brad, he's a champ and Logan, he does better than his mommy. Here's what has changed over of the last 3 weeks:

1. We moved to another side of town. Totally, completely, exhausting! We could have never done it without a thoughtful relief society president, a few sweet, sweet older women from the ward, and a handful of friends that are always there to help us out. Sooo glad its over and all things are put away in their proper place. Love the home. Love the location. Love having the chaos of the move behind us.
   
2. Changed wards. We now belong to a ward that is the size of an entire stake.
   
3. Changed computers. My laptop got a fatal virus and is done, finito, gone. Today Brad got a desktop set up for me so that I could start functioning online after a month of nadda. Thanks Braddo:)
   
4. Changed vehicles. Not too big of a deal, but a change nonetheless.
   
5. Changed phones. Gotta love the killer deal on the iphone. Still frustrated that the blackberry disappeared in the move. I could really use all of my contacts:-)
   
6. ChangING the way we do our daily song and dance. I am trying really hard to get everyone back in a routine, and slow my routine down a bit. Logs is slowly re-setting his bedtime, and morning/night routines. Max is just a confused mess. He doesn't sleep well at night. I am trying to get him to the park in the evening for some exercise so that he starts sleeping through the night again. He is peeing all over the house and needs COMPLETELY RE-POTTY TRAINED!! As for me, after packing and unpacking both houses and getting everything up and running at this house, I have found that maybe my back and baby are paying a little for it. I'm going to ice and sit around more, and stop causing those contractions. I really dislike sitting around. But after the past few days, I think it would be a really good idea.
7. Logan changed from a little boy to a big boy (as he will inform you) by turning 5! Dad and I celebrated with him on his b-day by eating at his favorite place- Cafe Rio. He received an electric scooter which quickly became his new addiction. Grandma and grandpa F. hooked him up with all new baseball equipment for the season. We threw a "rockstar party" for his friends 2 days after we moved in. 14 kids ages 5 and under! It was crazy!! Following through with Logan's plans, we taught the kids a song Logan wrote, made it into a music video, and watched it back. Then we did cake and presents, broke a pinata, and had a kind-of pool party! (Umm, the pool guys forgot to hook the gas line up to the heater, so the pool and hot tub were freezing.) The most memorable moment of the party was when Brynlee spotted a rather large, live scorpion about two feet from the line of kiddos in bare feet who went from waiting to bust a guitar in the courtyard, to scrambling for shoes and their mommy. Awesome, Andrea. Expose our kids to deathly pests after promising us you had it under control. Riiiight.
   
8. Changed trimesters. Oh how us women love to grab on to the sweet phrase of 'third trimester.' It sounds so comforting to acknowledge that you've made it to the last phase of the whole affair. I still support the Zofran manufacturers by taking my daily pill, without which I would not survive! The baby is growing well and all things are looking great. I feel like a cow, waddle like a duck, and sleep like a ..... (what's an animal that gets up to go to the bathroom 4 times a night?) Oh yeah.... I'm sleeping about as well as Max is. Except I don't pee on the carpet.

Other important events to remember:

• Family trip was a blast, i'll post about it soon

• Mom and Bailee came to spend Easter/conference weekend with us. We had a really great time with them. Also visiting that weekend were Rach and Ty and his family, and the Hawkes and Dresens. We loved seeing our neighbors and family on our turf! I made lots of food that weekend and mom helped me with lots of packing.
• Grandpa Joe threw us a fabulous going-away dinner at his house the day that we moved. He sure takes care of us. We miss not seeing him every day.

• Brad brought home the MVP trophy from his season playoff hockey game as he scored the final goal for the win! He had to return the golden cup the next day, but it was still a privilege to have it in our home ;)

Bad Bug Day

I have been trying my hardest to take Brad's advice and not start working on things over at the other house that we are going to be moving into. Things change so often and abruptly with the houses in Kingston's portfolio, that the living situation could easily become different than what i'm planning on. But between the house clean-up, pool clean-up, and 20 other things on my list of "needs to happen before we move in," I decided to get a start at my numero uno issue with houses in this area..... BUGS.

My fabulous cousin had suggested that we spray a few times before the move, due to the fact that no one had ever lived in the house as it sat vacant. Man, did he make a brilliant call. Suffice it to say that the home was built in a scorpion HAVEN. I am also thinking that the black widows of Dixie have designated that house as an official breeding ground. I didn't see any snakes around the house though. Oh trust me, they are there. I just didn't see them. But we like snakes because they eat the widows. So I am still very excited to settle in there, just a tad bit freaked out. Black light night hunts are going to become a bedtime routine. And Max will only be allowed to go potty on the upstairs terrace thing so that he doesn't get poisoned by the enemy. And the rosemary ground cover has to go. And I may put our beds all on stilts. Other suggestions needed. Maybe a friend from Arizona could make me feel better with some advice?!

Thanks Brayden, you just may have saved our lives today:)

February Recap

Broad recapitulation is my only blog style these days:) Whatever works, right? February went quickly and without much stress, and for that I am grateful. I've never been a fan of January or February. I'd say i'm a bit grouchy and restless until March rolls along. Life is hard enough without bad weather, right? It's amazing to me how the sunshine can make people feel a little bit more eager to jump out of bed and face the day. So enough of the chilly days, i'm ready to hear the birds. In fact, I was actually kind of thrilled yesterday when I discovered the daunting noise of a cricket under my bed. And last week I proudly reported my first bat sighting of the season. And, I put my winter clothes away last month.... I must really be craving spring as much as everyone else around me. Here's what we have been up to for the past 4 weeks:

• Brad played a lot of hockey. A lot of it.
• Logan took level 2 swimming lessons and then took some privates to get those strokes down solid. We have now officially abandoned the doggie paddle forever. Well, maybe.
• I grew and grew, and have now started to waddle when I walk.
• The baby's check-ups were all great, and we hit the half-way mark! 20 weeks on Feb. 23rd
• Logan stepped up to the challenge of reading one book every night this month, and is now reading pretty darn good
• Grandma and Grandpa Raymond stayed the weekend
• We spent a fun weekend in Vegas with Val, Orin, and Chris. We now feel more connected to the Beatles and all of their bizarre, psychedelic, and politically-charged songs.
• I slept more and got less accomplished than I ever have in my entire life. But I threw up less and I am down to taking 1 zofran a day. Wahoo!
• Brad witnessed the euphoria of seeing his country win the biggest hockey game of all time! Ode to Crosby and all fellow canadian olympians.
• We got to watch our buddy Dave Bissett take home the silver for Canadian 4-man bob sledding. Go Dave! We couldn't feel more proud with your talent and killer outfit that you sported so well:)
• We helped the Harwoods move up the street. May they never move again after this next move. (For their sake, of course.)

On to the madness of March. Here's what has made the list so far:

• Jamie (good friend) gets married to the man of her dreams, and I hopefully get to be there for her endowment session
• Logan, Brad and I go on a family trip for a week
• We pack up and move to another house on the other side of town
• I learn to relax a little bit so that I don't go into panic mode and have a heart attack from my anal-retentive ways during a move.
• Logan starts soccer season
• I get to visit my sister Rachel in Salt Lake, and meet up with Jesse and Nichole's families as well. YIPPEE!
• Parents and Cook fams come for a weekend visit

Looking forward to April, come to think of it;-)

Logan

I have got to record some of the facts about this boy of mine, lest I ever forget what an absolute character he was as a 4 yr. old. More, is that I want him to know what he was like as a little guy. (This post will entertain only me, and maybe dad too.) I have a lot of lost ground to cover in order for him to feel contented with the update. He knows that I haven't written in his scrapbook/journal for almost a year, and he says its a rip-off. So here it goes.

Logan wakes the house up every morning with oodles of vigor and vim. He doesn't sleep more than 10 hours, but only now is beginning to make it through an entire day without a nap. He still falls asleep in odd places, and can 'accidentally' as he calls it, fall asleep in an instant. Bed time requires 1-3 stories from mom or dad followed by begging for me to lay with him if he hasn't already conked out. He often makes his own food, and loves to help me cook. Logan talks to himself often, and gets into some major dialogue with his cars and planes. The boy is not a fan of lotion, jeans, spicy toothpaste, tomatoes, getting his hair combed, or listening to people blow their noses. He loves to wear sleeveless jerseys and basketball shorts whenever possible. His fav foods are Cafe Rio, corn on the cob, mom's tacos, popsicles, blueberry waffles, spaghetti, pineapple, ranch, corndogs, icecream, and ketchup.

Friends and relatives are a HUGE deal to Logan. So is remembering to flush the toilet. He needs friends around as often as I can find one for him. Favorite hobbies are ice skating, long bike rides, playing b-ball with dad, rocking out on rock band, building forts/clubhouses, and pretending that he is on a team. Logan plans parties a lot. Once in a while, I follow through with throwing one. He moves in strange ways and loves to 'breakdance and trick' for me and dad to music. His favorite songs are Thunder Struck (ACDC), Sweet Emotion (Aerosmith), and Eye of the Tiger (Survivor). He also really likes CCR, Abba, and Bon Jovi. I'm not joking even a little.

I think that a few of these next characteristics make Logan a peculiar little boy. Logan's brain is always curious about concepts that are a bit over his head. He asks a lot of questions about Jesus coming, and mentions it frequently. He talks about poor people a lot, and what it must feel like to not have stuff. He knows that he has a lot of that, but gets majorly offended when he is accused of acting spoiled. He also asks a lot about the people he knows that are already in heaven. He always wants to know the weather forecast, and what the plan is for the day. He is uber independent and prides himself in doing his chores. Logan complements his parents a lot, and surprises me that he is that in-tune to how he can make other people feel. He is quite sensitive and does not like to hurt or dissapoint his dad. He is very much into the idea of being a big brother because he says that he spends too much time "goofing around with just you, mom". He adores his best friend, Max. And once in a while, he asks if we can give him away and get a different dog.

On a sentimental note, Logan is the best part of every day..... he is really the main theme of every day:) He fills the space of my life with challenge, consistency, and purpose. And lets admit it, an occasional burnout. He and I have a pretty intense little relationship that could only be naturally expected after being with each other every day of his life. I'm not sure that either of us would no what to do for long without the other. I sometimes find it difficult and exhausting to raise a child with such high demands for hands-on involvement. But thankfully, that circumstance for him, has yielded a strong sense of self-assuredness (along with an interesting little mind). He knows who he is and what he wants, and for that I am grateful.

And the baby is a......

Snakes, snails, puppydog tails....
Transformers, cleats, and stinky feet.

So the little human that has been causing all the commotion is a boy!!!!!! No question about it, he made it very obvious for us! The ultra sound tech was giggling. Thanks buddy:) I was really taken off guard because my brain has only thought girl. Same with Brad and Logan. And I thought I had a good explanation as to why I have been this sick for this long! Now I know that it's just because he is a strong little boy who will be making a big noise once he is here:) So on with the blue and the testosterone! The boys were sooooo thrilled. Only one thing left to do before I begin the boy preparations..... start dressing the dog like a girl :) It was so great to finally meet him and all of his intact body parts. What a sweet little boy he is. I am now 16 weeks and he is due on July 11th. I haven't thrown up for a solid week. In fact (with a continued daily dose of my good pal zofran), I am starting to feel better every day. My mornings are going smoother than ever, i'm starting to cook and do the dishes. I think my days of hiding in my bed are almost over! Brad is off the hook.

A few giant steps in a desired direction

In the spirit of moving forward, here's the news that started in November. WE ARE PREGNANT! Well i'm pregnant, and Brad might as well be with what I've put him through! Oh hallelujah, a million times over. What an amazingly joyful feeling to be finally move toward increasing the numbers in our fam! I have felt soooo relieved that Logan will have a sibling. He deserves that, and is so absolutely ready to be a big brother. I have wanted this more than anything, and still feel overwhelmed that it came to us. I know that 3 years is nothing compared to the fertility trials that some face. But for me, I was beginning to numb out a bit, and the apathy was not a welcomed feeling. Neither was the void that can't ever seem to fill itself. I am so grateful for motherhood, and more so for the Giver of the  stewardship.  What a stressful, frustrating, faith-trying ordeal fertility can be for so many families. It's exhausting to even think about the journey! I think I need a nap.

And what a sweet victory to report on change and progress! SO, I have to jot down a few words about the other great miracle in my life. So I can barely think about how my sacrum, hips, muscles, nerves..... have felt for the last 4 years. There is no doubt that I have never been pushed to my limits more from this predicament than any other in my life. I have reached my wits end over and over and over. I've burdened so many people with the pain and needed so many favors that I never returned. I was so warn down from feeling pain all the time. It sucked the life out of me some days/weeks/months. It made me feel helpless most of the time, and hopeful other times. But God always sends that hope into your heart that keeps it pumping with some sort of excitement for a development. Because of the hope He always gave me (I usually didn't deserve it), I really tried everything in the book. At about the time that I reached Y and Z in that book, and had driven everyone crazy including myself, I found a new treatment. I didn't wake up one day to a healed body. But if I look at what I can do today compared to 8 months ago, there is no way I could have guessed that I would  progress so much in that short of a period. Or that we would ever be able to gather the resources to afford it. But Brad's job came through in the nick of time so that I could get the treatments. Now I only get better. The pain slowly goes away and my body starts to gain my trust back as I find that I can depend on it to get me through the day. And it does more than that. My legs take me through the store, on walks, around the house day after day! I sleep at night. I drive and travel in the car. The thought of it all just baffles me. It takes me back every so often, that I am totally performing to meet the expectations of the day. I have a long way to go, but the struggle is soooo bearable now! I always know what I should and shouldn't do to manage my days. No guessing, no paying unexpected consequences. My muscles are predictable. And scronny! But I can fix that one. I want to scream out that i'm sorry and that its not a big deal anymore! I'm fine! And I hope that I will never go one day without respecting the gift of health and strength. It's not an expectation. It's a gift from God that we get to enjoy every day. Someday I am going to climb a really big mountain. I'm going to ride down roads really, really fast. I'm going to be strong enough to do whatever I want to do.:)

So what have I learned? What's my point? That God's plan is 1 million times more beautiful and perfect than our own. That if we really want His plan for us to be the one that unfolds in front of our eyes (albeit slowly), we have to be willing to fold up our own cute little maps and put them in our pockets. We have to try to read and decode and follow His map the best we can, and be extra happy when our maps start to look more like His as we go. Sometimes we have to work hard for clues and signs that we are going the right way. Really hard. We have to be reminded that we get lost when we're lazy, dangit. Some trials will come full circle and we'll be able to see reasoning for the timing and circumstances. They will get wrapped up in some sort of cute, tight bow. Other trials will seem to go without explanation or purpose at all. They'll never get wrapped up. They'll continue to look messy, like a toddler was handling them the whole time. And we still need to be equally grateful that God manifested his love by allowing us the struggle. Ahhhh, not easy. I can guarantee that I will continue to forget, re-learn, and then remember these same lessons in other ways for the rest of my life. For now, peace.